I think we should write a folksong about Varmints. (When i was a kid Davy Crocket used to call Injuns varmints. this caused no offence in our house cos we didn't know any red injuns and didn't know what a varmint was.)

Varmints

Don't let varmints get in your trousers
Fear and discomfort it arouses
Never get a grass snake in your pants
If you sit down and by and by
The grass snakes head sticks out your fly
this could cause acute embarrassment.