I did A level biology for three months of a two year course before dropping out. i could see which way things were going.

My biology teacher said to me, 'Face it! You're not the sort of person who would enjoy spending a weekend on your tummy sifting through a pond in the hope that you would get some algae named after you, are you?'

'Yes, I would!' I said, but in my heart of hearts I knew I was lying. The he told me to kille the periplanta americana cockroaches i was supposed to be studying, but i wasn't. Because they smelled.'

So i left biology.   i sold my borrodale. or maybe gave it away. left school.

You never got mark my paper Steve. i bet they still haven't got round to asking why they put clotted cream on your Mr Whippy down in St Ives and nowhere else.