H.P. McBride was the writer of bawdy Irish tales and was ahead of his time, basically achieving what Henry Miller did, only 2 centuries before Henry Miller. He was excommunicated by the Catholic Church, and then executed in Cork, Ireland in 1732, having been condemned for "obscene literature in violation of all the laws of God and man". His bodily remains as well as his writings were burnt to ashes and cast into the sea, but it is rumored that the McBride clan preserved some of his manuscripts in an underground vault somewhere on the island of Newfoundland. These, if found, would be virtually priceless, probably fetching at least in the region of 8 figures. Penthouse magazine made a determined effort to find the vault in the early 1970's, dispatching several expeditions which dug holes all over Newfoundland, but found nothing more than scattered bones, some Native burial sites, a whole lot of mud and rocks, and a carved ivory statue of a moose wearing a beanie cap (the classic type with the propellor on top).

It is, however, thought that some of McBride's more memorable pornographic passages were passed down in the oral traditions of the McBride clan, thus preserved for "pausteritty", as Shane would put it. If so, they have kept them secret right to the present day. Only an infiltration of the "Black Mess" (a secret pagan ceremony practiced by most McBrides on the New Moon) might finally succeed in revealing these notorious fragments of H.P.McBride's erotic literature to a wider audience.

Holy Flip, eh?!?