I can't abide salads that have tasteless iceberg lettuce/shop-bought cucumber/halved golfball tomatoes and any other abject ingredient.

Find a half-pound of the finest cherry tomatoes you can find and halve them. Take a perfectly ripe avocado (or two), peel and slice lengthways. Drain a large hunk of mozzarella and slice it thinly. In a large dish, spread out the avo and mozzarella pieces, interleaved according to your artistic proclivities. Once done, chuck the tomatoes on top. Finish with a grating of freshly-milled black pepper and a good drizzling of the best extra-virgin olive oil you can find. This is insalata tricolore, a salad that contains all the colours of the Italian flag. You will LOVE it!