question authority! (and thats an order)
it may be that your whole purpose in life is to simply serve as a warning to others.
heres to cheese, milks leap toward immortality
give me immortality, or give me death!
may you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous lover.
she's been married so many times she's got rice marks on her face. (tom waits)
... gets more ass than a toilet seat (tom waits)
yes sir, right away boss, it was like that when I got here. (quotes to live by, Homer Simpson)
nobody goes there anymore, its too crowded (yogi berra)
sex without love is just an empty experience. But as far as empty experiences go, its one of the best. (woody allen)
never eat anything bigger than your head.
at the time when blossoms fall from the cherry tree, on a day when orioles flitted from bough to bough. You said you must stop because your horse was tired. I said I must go, because my silkworms were hungry. (ancient Chinese poem)
never put off for tommorrow what you can postpone indefinitely.
so this seal walks into a club (newfie joke)
two guys went bear hunting, they saw a sign said "bear left" so they went home. (henny youngman)
dorothy parker named her pet parakeet onan, because he kept on spilling his seed.
I love this thread. (I collect quotes too.) that's all I can think of for now.