Many. many years ago I was at Bracknell Folk Festival.

The security guy was a complete pain in the proverbial.

He worked for "Bank Security" and he and his ill tempered Alsatian dog managed on the Friday and Saturday to upset a good many of the wonderful people there.

On the Sunday morning one of the good people turned up wearing a Safari suit short pants and a "military jacket" and wearing a badge that said "Wank Security".

He also had a starched lead with no dog.

I don't know who he was, but if he ever reads this, thank you, oh thank you, oh thank you