Ours is not a happy Family
No ones laughs and no ons smiles
Mine's a dismal occupation,
Crushing Ice for Grandpa's piles.

Jane the under housemaid vomits
Every morning just at eight,
to the horror of the butler
Who's the author of her fate.

Aunty Jane has just aborted
for the 47th time,
Uncle George has been deported
For a most unusual crime.

And alas, that's all I remember, Peter