You can hear this recording at the Internet Archive.

THE MERMAID
Words and music by Fletcher Peck
As recorded by Frankie Laine, 1952.

(Ship ahoy! Ship ahoy!)

I once went fishin’
And I caught a mermaid.
Told me that she was Neptune's daughter.
I clipped her pop for a buck and a quarter.
Sold ‘im a pen for writing under—
Water. (Water!)

(Ship ahoy! Ship ahoy!)

So I told her pappy
That we could be happy.
Pappy said: “Listen here, you bounder.
You cannot keep ‘er just ‘cause you found ‘er.
She is engaged to a very wealthy—
Flounder.” (Flounder!)

(Ship ahoy! Ship ahoy!)

Begged her to marry.
She didn’t tarry.
I slipped the ring upon her flipper.
We sailed away on a Yankee clipper.
Soon we were blessed with an eight-pound bouncing—
Kipper. (Kipper!)

(Ship ahoy! Ship ahoy!)

Thought her a shy one,
But she was a sly one.
First thing I knew, she took to swearing,
Slippin’ around and never caring.
Caught her with ev’ry Tom and Dick and—
Herring. (Herring!)

(Ship ahoy! Ship ahoy!)

She just got slier,
And, oh, what a liar!
Spent all my loot on gin and splurgin’,
Lied to my face without no urgin’,
‘Specially when she said she was a—
Sturgeon. (Sturgeon!)

So I learned my lesson, (my lesson!)
And now I’m confessin’ (confessin’!)
I’ll never miss that mermaid’s squawkin’.
You know they ain’t no good for walkin’.
Who needs the half that’s always busy—
Talkin’? (Talkin’!)

Ship ahoy! (Ship ahoy! Ship ahoy! Ship ahoy!)