It's not *just* whiteness, though that certainly helps. It is the attitude that violence is *justified* for the most minor upsets. I had a conversation with a parent who was teaching their small boy to "stand up to" insults and to punch other children in the face if they (the son) felt offended. I taught my sons to walk away from assholes, to keep their temper even if offended, and to use their words- not their fists, against said assholes. The other parent was horrified.