I wish to report a culinary failure. I bought a beautiful big cauliflower yesterday for a quid. The weather later on today was unexpectedly benign, so we thought we'd have a barbecue. I found a recipe for barbecued cauliflower steaks. You cut the whole cauliflower into thick vertical slices, baste them with garlicky olive oil and barbecue them gently (I used one of those perforated aluminium trays) for six or seven minutes each side.

Well what a waste of a good cauliflower. Dry, acrid, ruined. And it took twice as long as the recipe said. Binned it. Never again.