I know, me too. I was trying to parody John Major's pathetic "back to basics" thing which he concocted whilst shagging Edwina, which I thought might have been up Bonzo's alley. What a man of taste!

I know that Kew Green isn't exactly what you might call a village green, but on one occasion in the early seventies I quaffed a pint or three there whilst watching a charity match in which Michael Parkinson and Elton John were playing. Not a bad batter, Parky. Not much good for owt else, mind...