So far as I am aware an ordinary consumer can't recover VAT on services abroad. This is different from purchases of goods, which can be bought VAT-free on the basis that you pay import duty and VAT on bringing it into your own country. However VAT is immensely complicated so I may be wrong.
Not quite. Goods can only be purchased VAT free (or the VAT subsequently reclaimed) by foreign travellers who will be taking the goods out of the EU (of course this will also apply to UK purchasers once we leave the EU as we will then be viewed as 'foreign travellers')