You can hear this recording at YouTube.


MOUNTAIN DEW BLUES [a talking blues]
As recorded by Dick Hartman’s Tennessee Ramblers, with Fred “Happy” Morris, vocalist, 1935. (Bluebird B-6105-A)

1. Now, I went up in the mountains t' take a little rest.
I thought I'd be sporty, so I wore my vest.
Got a hold of a jug and I took a long pull.
The first thing I knew I was plumb full.
I was fallin' around.
Couldn't walk straight.
Said I was drunk.

2. Now if you go t'the mountains, I'll tell ya what to do:
Drink apple cider; lay off o' mountain dew.
There may be gold in them thar hills,
But in that jug, boy, there's headache an' chills.
It'll make ya right nervous.
You'll see little monkeys.
Then you'll know you're drunk.

3. Well, it took me ten days to recuperate,
So I got drunk again; I met my fate.
You could tell by 'er look she was past sixteen.
She's a big fat woman and awfully mean.
She's a grass widow.
Had nine kids.
Got a mother-in-law too.

4. Now, I'm just a city dude a-livin' out o' town.
Ev'rybody knows there's moonshine around(?).
I make the beer an' I drink the slop.
I got nine little orphans call me pop.
I'm patriotic.
Raisin' soldiers,
Red Cross nurses.

5. Now when I'm a-drinkin', I get right mean.
I feed my kids fat meat while I eat the lean.
I feed the old woman on grits an' slaw.
I pour castor oil down my mother-in-law.
She's a-gettin' old.
Kind o' rusty.
She'll never get in a hurry.

6. But she has my sympathy when I'm sober,
'Cause she hasn't got a man to rub her all over.
She's got rheumatiz' up an' down 'er back.
Caught(?) a snipe-hunt, she's a-holdin' the sack
On Decatur Street
One Sat'day night.
She must 'a' been crazy.

7. When I educate my kids an' put 'em all to work,
I'm havin' 'em protect me against fever an'...(?).
When I'm old and my feet gets cold,
I expect 'em to feed me body an' soul.
I'm ambitious,
Independent,
Lookin' ahead.

8. Now, for a long, long time, I jumped my board.
I saved my money an' I bought me a Ford.
Paint was bright and the tires was good,
But, oh boy, under that hood!
Such rattlin'!
Pumpin' oil,
Radiator leakin'.

9. Now, down in the valley on my knees,
I had an old hound; he was full o' fleas,
Half on him and half on me.
If you know how to scratch, just come an' help me.
Such scratchin'!
Fightin' fleas.
Want to buy a dog?

10. Now, my brother-in-law, he carries the mail
When he's sober, not in jail.
Got a hook nose and a freckled face.
He wears pink shirts trimmed in lace.
He's kind o' sissy.
Thinks he's pretty.
Full o' mud.

11. Now I sold some taters in Atlanta Sat'day night.
I bought me some booze; I got pretty tight.
Got in a fight an' landed in jail.
Didn't have nobody to go my bail.
They give me thirty days.
Was a mean ol' judge.
I think it was a frame-up.

12. Now, I'm free an' white in the prime o' life.
I b'lieve in the union, me an' my wife.
You at the high-priced comp'ny, NRA,
Hopin' mister Roosevelt inflate our pay.
Shorter workin' hours.
More money.
Better liquor to drink.

13. Now, I just got a letter from from the grand ...(?),
Signed my the monkeys in the Cannon crew(?).
Says Mister Candler beat Atlanta time(?)
Unless each citizen sends in a dime.
Baboons ravin'.
Lions roarin'.
Such a noise!

14. Now, I went out a-huntiin' the other night.
I got scared and I lost my light.
Dogs treed somethin' down in the flat.
I thought it was a possum but it's a pretty little cat.
I had to leave home.
My wife quit me.
Had to bury my clo'es.
Ain't it a pity!
It was the wrong kind of a kitty.