i have such exciting news. after seeing the headline 'Workington Man to decide election' imagine my reaction to the news i was the Workington man chosen to make the decision'!

'thanks very much, brenda-now you and all your family can take a well-earned rest, choose one palace'

'well, not quite yet, pete, your job is to decide the election result not future policy - choose wisely'

'aye sorry - i was getting ahead of myself there'

'well-it's understandable in the circs'

anyway, we are going to have a labour/green coalition with a large majority. scotland will have a SNP/green split. the rest none'


ok, hope that saves everyone a lot of effort and argument - now we can all settle down and be nice to each other and the planet - peace comrades!


(if there is anyway of putting this on the new general election thread i would be grateful)