Well, maybe the lyrics would be a good start. This would be a good song for the Department of Redundancy Department.

BIG RIO GRANDE RIVER
(performed by Austin Lounge Lizards)

In the pass they call El Paso back in 1921
We saddled up and took a ride and ate a picnic lunch outside
Beneath the fiery inferno of the hot August sun
Alone with me unchaperoned, a local Texas miss
Yes lovely Linda was the girl, her brilliance brightened up my world
While I was serving sadly at the Fort that's known as Bliss

We viewed a scenic vista in the valley far below
We ate cheese quesadillas flanked by fragrant beef fajitas
The insurgents were revolting in the streets of Mexico
Suddenly to my surprise a sound came from my rear
It was seventeen armed gunmen and plus one lone mounted horseman
Who softly whispered, "Por favor, I'll take the food and beer"

By sunrise it had dawned on me, she'd run off with the great Cabrito Kid
His white mare, Caballo Blanca, would brave for him the blazing flames of hell
And after each encounter, he would call his horse and mount her
And they'd run off with a stirring grito yell
His gold tooth flashing in the sun, his song forever endless in my head

[CHORUS]
Big Rio Grande River, it flows down to the sea
Bringing back my memories of the past
High up on Table Mesa, I feel her nearness close to me
As the evening sun sets in the west

The years have passed and gone, I'm now a wealthy billionaire
The butler (?) calls my club by phone, I dine there by myself alone
And shiver in the coldness of my air-conditioned lair
Looking back in retrospect, my life's a trite cliché
Chapters of past history keep echoing repeatedly
They all come back except the girl who left and went away

A phone bell rings, it's Linda's voice, she coos a warm hello (hello, hello, hello)
Now I am thinking pensively, how we could live expensively
So we arrange to meet up on the first floor down below
As we leave the ATM machine she steps aside
I hear, "Por favor, I'll take the cash," I turn and see a gold tooth flash
Now side by side by side we sing together as we ride

[CHORUS]
Big Rio Grande River, it flows down to the sea
Bringing back my memories of the past
High up on Table Mesa, I feel her nearness close to me
As the evening sun sets
As the evening sun sets
As the evening sun sets in the west

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rVyoVQPFmQ