There once was a maiden named Gretchen Pumpernickel
Who lived way up in a chalet,
And there was a yokel named Hymie Dillypickle,
Who lived way down in a valley,
And thus every morn at a quarter past four,
She'd put on her bonnet and open the door,
And yodel to Heimie an hour or more,
With an oo la la, oo la la layee.

CHO   Oh la layee, o la layee,
            Oh la layee, oo la la lay.

And what an effect upon Heimie Dillypickle,
Who lived way down in the valley,
For whene'er his eardrums that yodeling would tickle,
He'd start right out for the chalet,
As Gretchen was stretching to reach the high notes,
The people got sore at her, so did the goats,
But Heinie climbed up like a horse after oats,
To that oo la la, oo la la layee.

Her yodeling blighted the grain, the vegetables,
The cabbages and cauliflower,
Till folk at their tables, and horses in the stables,
Had nothing at all to devour,
For Gretchen's foghorn burst the ears on the corn,
The fish in the streams wished they'd never been born,
And yet at a quarter past four every morn,
Came that oo la la, oo la la layee.


And what an effect on all the cows and chickens,
Had Gretchen's oo la la, oo la la layee,
And with the cows' milking it sure raised the dickens,
And the hens refused to lay.
The people petitioned the mayor of the town
To make some new laws on all noises to frown,
But you cannot keep a good yodeler down,
Who goes oo la la, oo la la layee.


At last one day Gretchen was sick with tons'litis,
And the doctor was called to examine,
As soon as he looked, he decided he might as
Well get at the cause of the famine,
So out came his bloodthirsty surgical saw,
With gimlet and crowbar he jimmied her jaw,
And took out her yodel with never a flaw,
And the oo la la, oo la la layee.


And now all the people are grateful to the doctor
Who used his power to free 'em,
And so they all thanked him, and then they took and locked her
Old yodel up in a museum,
They picked out a very conspicuous space,
Then put up some arrows to point to the place,
But the yodel kept yodeling loud from its case;
With an oo la la, oo la la layee!