Ah Dave, thank you for this thread. We're still very sad about having Smokey put to sleep. It was indeed the right thing to do, but so distressing to sit beside him while he passed peacefully away.

It's so true that expressing the sadness can help. But most of the people we know would think it silly to cry over a cat (including one of my closest friends, who has just lost her dear mother!). Having had Smokey for eighteen years, amid a host of other cats too, it was awful to have to say a final farewell. The house seems to be empty and silent. No cats left now...
I find myself choking back the tears when Christmas music is playing in a supermarket for instance. And sitting here on the sofa where he used to pat my face every few minutes with a loving paw is terribly hard.
I expect time will heal. My husband has shed tears too, but we'll try to be brave and get through this somehow.

Thank you again for this thread. It helps to share the feelings!