Yes, Steve, I was quite a treat for the eye back in the day. I still have an ancient snapshot of myself on the open ramp of an M113 armoured personnel carrier, and it is proof that at that time of my life I was tired, not very clean, and dressed by somebody who either did not care or failed to notice that I am not male.

As you say, pulses are the other exception to the rule against canned veg, although I buy only chickpeas in cans, probably because they are not usually the principal ingredient in a dish.

I used to buy bottled tomato-based pasta sauce, but stopped when I discovered Marcella Hazan.

I know all that about the nutritional value frozen veg, but I can’t get past the texture. Also, there’s the memory of military cooking to contend with — vast pans of peas mixed with diced carrots boiled from frozen and set out on the serving line in the junior ranks’ mess. Oy.

When on holiday in England some years ago, I was treated to a pub lunch of pie with mushy peas. The pie was okay, I guess, but I had a very hard time with the peas, which came from a can and tasted like all my worst memories of youth. Fortunately, the local cider was strong enough to cancel the effect.