Again there are many versions of THE "Tattooed Lady". Here's my family's version:
THE TATTOOED LADY
(Adapted from what Dennis Puleston used to sing)

I paid my franc to see
An old tattooed lady,
Tattooed from head to knee
She was a sight to see;
And on her jaw,
Yes, on her jaw,
Was the Royal Signal Corps;
While 'round the back
Flew the Union Jack
Could you ask for more?

All up and down her spine
Marched the King's Horse Guard in line;
On her breastworks I could see
The Royal Artillery;
And on her spleen,
Yes, on her spleen,
Was a British submarine;
While on each thigh
Bombers flew by;
What more could be seen?

She had upon her hips
Two lines of battleships;
In a place I could not see
Was a map of Germany;
And on her kidney,
Yes, on her kidney,
Was a bird's eye view of Sidney;
While 'round the corner,
'Round the corner,
Was my home in Tennessee!

Then there is Rudy Vally's version from the 1940s which is entirely different, being about an artist seducing his model but no one would be interested in that, I'm sure.