I will now probably appear hard hearted and unsympathetic .. but...

I have long painful experience of my sibling's decades of emotionally blackmailing our parents
with suicide attempts..

A question still hangs over how she ultimately passed...

..and another relative with no apparent suicidal tendencies at all,
who suddenly flipped without warning and killed himself.

So my hardened attitude is either make a good job of it causing least heart break
and inconvenience to other folks,
or ask for professional help asap...

Mrrzy - you have chosen the most positive option,
and I sincerely wish you good health and well being..
and continued progress in managing your problems for many years to come..

Stay on top of it mudcat mate...