The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #166522   Message #4029521
Posted By: Bee-dubya-ell
21-Jan-20 - 07:04 PM
Thread Name: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
Okay, gang, let us review freds protocol from way back in Mom's early days:

1) The only time "freds" is capitalized is when it is the first word in a sentence. Otherwise, the "f" is always lower case.

2) Freds is both plural and singular. There is no such thing as "a fred". That is because of freds' hive mind. You talkin' to one freds, you talking to all of 'em. However, that does not mean freds don't have individual characteristics. Some freds like to eat Mississippians, some like donuts. Some say Mississippians and donuts both taste like chicken so, fuck it, just eat chicken.

3) Freds have no distinct genders. The correct pronouns with which to refer to freds are hesheit (nominative case), himherit (oblique/objective case), and hishersits (possessive). However some freds look decidedly male or female to human perception. Like this freds.

4) Individual freds often have human-sounding names, though the characteristics normally associated with those names when they are born by humans may not apply. For example, the freds in the photo above is named Bubba. And this freds' name is Winona Ryder.