Mom!

It's February First! Does that mean idiots will finally stop wishing me Happy New Year?

Has it ever occurred to you that years don't get to have birthdays? When they get to be a year old, POOF! They're gone!

Just when we've gotten* used to having a year around, someone kills it off and foists a new one on us.

Don't plan on making a cake that says, "Happy Birthday 2020!" You'd be wasting your time.

What if they did that with puppies? "Here's a cute little puppy, kid, but don't get too attached to it. A year from now, we're gonna kill it and give you a new one!"

I wonder if 2020 knows that it's doomed? Eleven months from now and it's gonna be defenestrated.


* Have you noticed that our British cousins have abandoned "gotten" as the past participle of "get" and use "got" for both past and past participle? Still sounds wrong to me.)