Your meeting with this other person today
might open doors that you didn't know you could knock on,
and if this person has professional expertise in the field
then they know one heck of a lot more than I know,
because I am no expert.

But I really saw red, when reading:
"Places that claim to be long-term residential are,
when you call them, crisis stabilization or rehab."
True of many establishments, this cannot be denied --

but surely not every last one of them --
especially on the East Coast of the US,
which has people/corporations with deep pockets
AND cutting-edge schools and places of higher learning.
Don't give up now!
There HAS to be something that will help you
more than the places you have eliminated thus far.

I'm looking at a web-page right this moment, for one place.
Here's a quote:

"We treat the individual, not the diagnosis.
Diagnostic labels cannot capture the essence of an individual's struggles or strengths,
and they often obscure what people have in common. . .
[Many of our patients] seek treatment at [name withheld]
because they need a different approach,
and many opt to stay in our long-term residential treatment program
following an initial evaluation and treatment period."

I'll send you a PM with more.