Twenty miles or so upriver from Hannibal, Mo. Yup, Sam Clemens' home town. Sam would bring a steamboat in and me and him would go drinkin'. After a while ol' Sam would excuse himself and go visit the "young ladies" upstairs. Then the Civil War started and Sam up and went West with his brother Orion -- plumb lit out fer Nevada Territory. Dunno what ever happened to him...probably fell down a mine shaft cuz he was always pretty clumsy. (I heard tell what some of the "young ladies" said about him but I ain't gonna repeat them salacious rumors.)