I thought my parody-loving friend David would have this, but he didn't. He had another, though:

HUGE
(by Linda Breitag and Ted Hodapp)

CHORUS:
I am huge boys, I am fat and stout,
I am huge, boys, I have got the gout.
I am huge, boys, big as any man,
But to tie my shoes, I don't think I can.

Well, with Mondays off, I don't have a care,
When I sits at home by the Frigidaire.
Then it's down to MacDonald's for a Big Mac or two
For to skip a meal, that would never do.

Well my boy's three-fourteen; he's a strappin' lad,
And he'll go through the floor soon just like his dad.
And when Friday comes, we'll hit the buffet,
And we'll gorge together to round off the day.

Well I likes my Twinkies and my layered cake
And my gooey donuts on my coffee break.
I think exercise is a noble cause
So I bend and stretch for my Hogan Dazs*.

And it's when I'm dead, oh I know full well,
They will roll me down to the gates of Hell.
And my fork and spoon Ol' Nick he will admire,
And he'll set me to making s'mores by his own hell fire.


*Häagen-Dazs???