My grandad used to sing a version of this to me and my dad sang it to my children. Obviously it got changed a bit on the way as my dad was an Engineer. I hadn't heard of any of the other verses about working outside the asylum. I just know it like this...

You know last night
I had a funny dream
I dreamt that I had died
I went up to heaven
But they wouldn't let me in
So the other place I tried

When I got there
A man with a fork
He asked me what I did
I told him I was an Engineer
So he cried and he let me in

Come inside you silly fella
Come inside
You ought to have a bit more sense
Working for a living? Take my tip
Act a little silly and become a lunatic
Cause you get your meals quite regular
And a couple of suits, besides
But if you want to keep a wife and kids on 30 bob a week
Come inside you silly fella
Come inside.

So glad I found this thread. It's lovely to hear other peoples versions of what their parents/grandparents used to sing to them.