As several of you know, I lost a dear friend recently. 28 years old, killed instantaneously in a car accident (his SUV hit a parked 18 wheeler with such force the truck was propelled forward 15 feet).

I saw my friend every summer for the last eight years, when a number of us from all over the US converged to go camping and attend a pagan gathering in western NY. We all met there and have become quite close over the years. Occcasionally saw him during the year, too, when he'd come to New England to go skiing, to attend the hemp rally in Boston, etc. We a tightly-knit community which is now devastated at the loss of our vibrant friend who had seemingly everything to live for. We watched him grow from being a macho Staten Island kid to a spiritually-aware being who always had a heart of gold and much compassion for others, and a joy for living most of us aspired to emulate.

My last contact with him was online, in an instant message mode. He was very enthusiastic about his life: his job, his new girlfriend, his yoga classes,his gourmet cooking hobby, etc. I am glad I at least had that contact, and oddly enough, when I saw his name pop up on my buddy list, I almost thought, oh, he's always online I can chat with him another time...he was dead a week later.

I could go on to say I have been thinking about death a great deal this past year and this tragic event has thrown those thoughts into stark relief. But that is perhaps a topic for another time. What I want to say is this, said by actress Valerie Perrine in an interview I saw years ago. It became my personal motto then, and now is even more significant for me...

Always leave people with good thoughts; you