The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #54473   Message #4037454
Posted By: Jim Dixon
04-Mar-20 - 08:43 AM
Thread Name: Lyr Req: Down the Drain
Subject: Lyr Add: DOWN THE DRAIN (Allan Sherman)
I doubt this is the song Thea had in mind, but I found this:

Although Allan Sherman is famous for parodies, I think this is a completely original song.


DOWN THE DRAIN
(Allan Sherman)

I. As recorded by Allan Sherman on "Togetherness" (1967)

INTRO: The sweetest things in life don't stay around for very long.
They come and go and don't come back again.
While they're here, you feel so smug.
That's when fate pulls out the plug,
And the sweetest things in life go down the drain.

1. What has happened to galoshes? Down the drain.
Where's the Czar of all the Russias? Down the drain.
Where's the five-cent candy bar?
The good old Edsel car?
Gone where all the swell things are: down the drain,
Down the drain.

2. Where are telephone prefixes? Down the drain.
They've all gone to where Tom Mix is: down the drain.
Where's those grand old Gold Dust Twins?
All those German zeppelins?
Boys who set up bowling pins? Down the drain,
Down the drain.

BRIDGE: Suppose we made a fuss
About the double-decker bus.
Do you suppose they'd bring it back again?
Fountain pens that use real ink,
Coins that don't go "clunk" but "clink,"
The things we love are sinking down the drain.

3. Where are all those kamikazes? Down the drain.
And the Hotel Savoy-Plazas? Down the drain.
Where's the New York World's Fair?
Just last year I saw it there.
In the heart of Flushing. Where? Flushing—down the drain,
Flushing down the drain.

II. The following additional or variant verses are sung by Allan Sherman on "Allan Through the Looking Glass" (2015)

3. Fountain pens that use real ink? Down the drain.
Coins that don't go "clunk" but "clink"? Down the drain.
Where are songs like "Old Black Joe"?
Dey don't sing dem songs no mo'.
Stokely Carmichael, he know—dey down de drain,
Down de drain.

BRIDGE: I went to see a show
Called "My Fair Lady" years ago.
I liked it but the author was insane.
A. J. Lerner told us lies.
Someone should have put him wise
That the rain in Spain falls mainly down the drain.

4. Where's the good ship Andrea Doria? Down the drain.
Like they say, sic transit gloria—down the drain.
Where is lovely World War One?
Where's my keen Buck Rogers gun?
Part of Christine Jorgenson? Down the drain,
Down the drain.

5. Where's the brontosaurus rex [sic]? Down the drain.
All the normal forms of sex? Down the drain.
And not long ago, gee whiz!
Ronald Reagan left show biz.
Guess where California is! Down the drain,
Down the drain.