It is not so simple for women to just leave.

The difficult part for me in a previous relationship about 30 years ago was recognising what he was really doing. He was a charmer. A chameleon. He could present a specific personality to the world and I had been taken in by that. Afterwards I spent time beating myself up emotionally for being fooled by him, but he was very practiced and clever and he fooled a lot of people.

I was lucky because I didn't have children and I did have a job. I left him. I bought my own house instead of living in rented houses. After I recovered from the stress and strain my life became a lot better and I did not get caught again by that type of personality in personal relationships.

A bit further down the track I was having financial issues and I needed a job fast. I took a job which turned out to be a bad bullying situation. I stayed for a year and a half but left as soon as I had the chance.

One area which I had started looking into back then was bullies and bullying personalities. I definitely think there were some correlations with narcissism or sociopathy to the personalities of both my ex partner and my ex boss.

This book relates to narcissism.

Enough About You, Let's Talk About Me

One of the key factors I noticed in both situations was a lack of empathy for other people. I have worked with a couple of other bullies who have that problem.

It's extremely difficult to negotiate with someone who does not care about anyone except him/herself.