Prof Chris Whitty, whose boots you are not fit to lick, would shit on your head, Iains, if he wasn't such a nice bloke. Which he is, unlike you, so you're safe. Unfortunately.

Nah then, pfr, I am totally cash-poor in spite of the fact that I accidentally cashed in on at least three house-price booms in the seventies and eighties. I own my house but I have to live in it. I have a bad back and half my teeth are missing, and I'm not totally sure about my prostate, and I'm seeing my doc next week about my bloody rotten shoulder, and I have multiple family issues, not least my 91-y-o mum who is now in lockdown. So, if it's OK with you, I'd prefer it if you didn't describe me as "rich..."