The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #167099   Message #4040840
Posted By: Jim Carroll
20-Mar-20 - 04:53 AM
Thread Name: BS: Only Joke Thread You'll Need for 2020
Subject: RE: BS: Only Joke Thread You'll Need for 2020
Another Buren Story (probably told this too)
A couple, getting on in years, farmed a rough piece of land on The Burren
The nearest farm was a mile and there were a few others scattered around the area, but it was a pretty lonely life
She would occasionally ride around on her bike to some of the neighnouring farms and swap bits and pieces of produce she'd grown in her vegetable garden, but apart from that, their only contact with the outside world was a visit to Lisdoonvarna on the donkey and cart for provisions
One day she announced she was going to ride down to Lisdoon to get her hair done - a thing he'd never remembered her doing
He thought to himself that it must be an anniversary or something he'd forgotten, in which case there might be a treat for him that night when they went to bed
When she rode off, he set about cleaning the house from top to bottom, something he'd never done in his life
He dusted, he swept the floor, polished the delph, washed down all the surfaces - he even took down the curtains and shook them in the yard
He cleaned the bedroom, put on fresh bed linen, and carefully placed candles around the room to create a romantic atmosphere
As he was just finished, he happened to look under the bed and spotted a large wooden box, which he dragged our and opened it
Inside it was crammed with money, coins and notes, carefully placed on top were three chickens eggs
He shoved the box back and waited for his wife to return,
When she eventually did, she was stunned to see what he had done
He said, "I thought it must be a spacial day, you getting you hair done, so I thought we'd do something different"
The thanked him and said she'd cook something nice instead of the usual bacon and cabbage
"But what's that box under the bed?", he asked
"She collapsed in a chair, looking very embarrassed, though a moment and finally said, "To tell you the truth John, I have to confess I've been unfaithful to you"
"How do you mean?" he asked
She said, "Well, when I visited neigbours sometimes and found the wife out, me and the husband... well, you know"
"And the eggs....?", he said   
"Well, each time I did it I was so ashamed I took a new laid egg from under the chickens and placed it in the box to remind me not to do it again"
He was shattered; he stood there silent for a minute and finally said, "Well, we've been together forty years and you haven't had much of a life with me, what with the farm and everything - so I suppose three times in all those years is understandable, so I forgive you - but what about the money?
"Well, each time I got enough eggs I rode around and sold them to the neighbours and put the money in the box for a rainy day"