This is from George-Denis Zimmerman’s invaluable Songs of Irish Rebellion
It’s probably the nearest you’ll get to an original
It’s followed by ‘The Ass’s Complaint’ and ‘The Ass and the Orangeman’s Daughter
Jim Carroll

THE PEELER AND THE GOAT (c. 1830)
TEXT: By Jeremiah O’Ryan («Darby Ryan»). Broadside in the N.L.I.

A set of peelers were out one nigtht, on duty and patrolling, O
They met a goat upon the road who seemed to be a-strolling, O
With bayonets fixed 'they sallied forth and caught her by the weazen,
O And then swore out a mighty oath they’d send her off to prison, O.

Goat:
Oh, mercy, sir, the goat replied, pray let me ted! my story,
O I am no rogue or ribbonman, or croppy, whig or tory,
O I’m guilty not of any crime, of petty or high treason, O
And I’m sadly wanted at this time, for ’tis the milking season, O.

Peeler:
It is in vain you do complain, or give your tongue such bridle, O
You’re absent from your dwelling place, disorderly and idle,
O Your hoary locks will not avail, nor your sublime oration, O
For Grattan’s Act will you transport, by your ow,n information, O.

Goat:
The Penal Laws I ne’er transgressed by deed or combination, O
I have no fixed place of abode, nor certain habitation, O
Bansha is my dwelling place where I was bred and born, O
Descended from an honest race, therefore your threats I scorn, O.

Peeler:
I’ll soon chastise your impudence and insolent behaviour, O
Well bound to Cashel you’ll be sent, where you will find no favour, O
Impartial Billy Purefroy will sign your condemnation, O
And from there to Cork you will be sent for speedy -transportation, O.

Goat:
This parish and neighbourhood are peaceful, quiet and tranquil, O
There s no disturbance here, thank God, and may it long continue so.
Your oath I don’t regard a pin, to, sign my committal,
O For my jury will be gintlemen to grant me an acquittal, O.

Peeler:
Let the consequence be what it will, a peeler’s power I’ll let you know,
1111 fetter you at all events and march you off to prison, O
You villain, sure you can’t deny before a judge and jury, O
That I on you found two long spears which threatened me with fury, O.

Goat:
I’m certain if you weren’t drunk with whiskey, rum or brandy,
O You would not have such gallant spunk, or be so bold and manly,
O You readily would let me pass if I’d the sterling handy,
O To treat you to a poteen glass — O, ’tis than I’d be the dandy, O.

VARIANTS: A. A collection of Ryan’s songs, The Tipperary Minstrel, gives only seven stanzas, (pp. 310-31, «a satirical poem written in 1830»).’
In their anthology The Spirit of Tipperary (pp. 71-73) T. Mac Domhnaill and P.O. Meadhra give a version «taken from the poet’s manus¬cript». The eight stanzas are in a different order (I - II - III - VI - V - IV - VII - VIII, as compared with the text above), and there is a ninth one:

Come fill us up a flowing bowl, we’ll drink a grand libation,
O And toast a health to each true son throughout this Irish nation, O!
We’ll toast O’Connell three times three, and our Association,
O May Paddy’s sons be all made free by speedy emancipation, O!
Some broadsides have: ... by speedy separation, O.

Henry Hudson gives a very different version, which he perhaps rewrote himself, in Dublin Monthly Magazine, November 184,2.
TUNE. «The Peeler and the Goat», Dublin Monthly Magazine November 1842.
NOTE: According to Hudson, this satire on the police force introduced into Ireland by Sir Robert Peel «spread like wildfire throughout the length and breadth of the land, and there was scarcely a village in the whole country, where the itinerant ballad singer did not reap a rich harvest, by shouting forth the popular song.» (Lot. cit.)
The success of the song inspired other texts:         «The Peeler and the Sow»
(set in County Cavan, the goat also appearing in that ballad) and «The Dog’s Victory on the Peeler» (set in Kilkenny), both of them very inferior to O’Ryan’s satire.