Well, rich-joy, I hope you won't be offended when I say that the translation above is not polished. When I read "may softly come unto me thy mercy", I can hear my German teacher give the tsk tsk she would give when an indifferent student translated German word-for-word into awkward English.

Another thing: if you are going to call Jesus Thou in the first verse, then you should use Thou and Thee all the time, not waffle between Thou and You.

I liked the medieval way of calling the Creator a smith, so I changed a few words to keep the smith image going.   
I am thinking of writing a new melody for it so I don't have to worry about a possible 1973 copyright. I will probably make a few more changes to make the rhythm better.