You can, too, have a male be a helper. Don't be alone, really. Also, do you HAVE to tell him anything? Think about just packing up and going somewhere safe with the children. If he asks why, answer truthfully. If he wants you back, insist on counseling, and DON'T GO BACK till you think it's OK. If you never think it's OK, trust your instincts and don't go back. My voice of experience...

Sounds awful, honey. PM if you want some sympathy without advice, I'm not offering it here as that isn't what the thread is about... If you can't PM, I think my email is on the Resource page. I am assuming you are posting as Guest for personal reasons but are actually a member...