family..well, i had an abusive mother so i have no desire for optional abuse. one person here i consider very abusive and i would have no contact whatsoever. i would not remain in the same room with him/her.. another i would be civil more or less and not really interact and remove myself as quickly as possible. another i would not consider totally abusive and i would be civil and would have no desire to interact but might not try to escape immediately as i think he or she has some redeeming qualities. there are others that were in the past and are hopefully not around.