The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #31006   Message #405447
Posted By: raredance
24-Feb-01 - 04:38 PM
Thread Name: Lyr Req: Housing Songs
Subject: Add: TALKING HOME IMPROVEMENT (Maguire)^^
Don't know if this fits you category.

TALKING HOME IMPROVEMENT
(Charlie Maguire, 1981)

Now gather around, this won't take long
Talking Home Improvement is the name of this song
"Do it yourself" and many try
As son as the ink on the deed is dry
They can't wait. "Catastrophic carpentry" is what I call it
that's when you learn that wood is sold by the foot
And ends up costing you an arm and a leg

I don't know much about it myself
But I work on my home like everyone else
I feel like a sheriff in an outlaw town
I've got a hammer on each hip when I walk around
Just like in the movies
"OK hot water heater, this house ain't big enough
For the both of us. OK, chimney, draw!"

When I've got to fix something though, I'm not scared
I've got this great big book on home repair
Cost me sixteen dollars, and it weighs ten pounds
But I'm saving money, they told me
Down at the hardware store
They know me on sight down there
I save hundreds of dollars there, every week

I've got a power sander, and a power saw
A power drill, and a whole lot more
And every time I plug them in
My electric meter starts to grin
Sure saves me time though, I can make twice as many mistakes
I'm a home owner, and I do it over
Look out you carpenters!

On the weekends, if I'm not too tired
I take a trip down to the lumber yards
Walk through the sheds and down the aisles
Buying stuff for my domicile
There is a whole bunch of us down there
Bandages on our hands, blisters, all milling around
Trying to find someone who knows what they're doing

So, if you miss me hanging around
You'll find me up in my part of town
Sanding a floor, putting up a shelf
Learning to do it all myself

With a two-by-four and a four -by ten
Tuckpoint,. Baseboard, weatherstripping
Screwdriver, sheetrock, bit and brace
Nail set, hammer, chisel, hacksaw blade
Maple, cedar, redwood, and pine
Zipstrip, miter box, pencil line
And the banker says it will all be mine
In about thirty years time. Whoopie!
I ought to have the kitchen done by then
Then I can go out and mow the lawn

recorded by Charlie Maguire on "Harbor Lights" (TrainOnThe Islands TI-10)

rich r