The Art of the Deal (ammended by Michael Cohen

1        Once you have their money... you never give it back.
2        The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.        
2        Money is everything.        
3        Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.        
5        Always exaggerate your estimates.        
6        Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.        
7        Keep your ears open.        
8        Small print leads to large risk.
9        Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
10        Greed is eternal.        
14        The quickest way to find profits is to let them find you.        
15        Dead men close no deals
16        A deal is a deal... until a better one comes along.
17        A contract is a contract is a contract.
18        A Deal without profit is no Ferengi at all.        
19        Satisfaction is not guaranteed.        
20        He who dives under the table today lives to profit tomorrow.        
21        Never place friendship above profit.        
22        A wise man can hear profit in the wind.        
23        Nothing is more important than your health.
27        There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.        
29        What's in it for me?        Highest Score (DS9 novel)
30        "Confidentiality equals profit>
31        Never make fun of a loser's mother. Insult something he cares about instead.
33        It never hurts to suck up to the boss.        
34        War is good for business..
35        Peace is good for business.        
37        The early investor reaps the most interest.
39        Don't tell customers more than they need to know.        
40        She can touch your dick but never your $.        
41        Profit is its own reward.        
43        Feed your greed, but not enough to choke it.        
44        Never confuse wisdom with luck.        
45        Expand or die
47        Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.        
48        The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.        
52        Never ask when you can take
53        Never trust anybody taller than you.        
54        Rate divided by time equals profit.
55        Take joy from profit, and profit from joy.        
57        Good customers are as rare as bearer bond—treasure
58        There is no substitute for success.        
59        Free advice is seldom cheap.        
60        Keep your lies consistent or for 2 weeks or not..        
62        The riskier the road, the greater the profit.        
63        Work is the best therapy-at least for your employees.        
65        Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.        
66        Someone's always got bigger debts.
68        Risk doesn't always equal reward.        
69        Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.        
74        Knowledge equals profit.
75        Home is where the resort is.        
76        Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.        
77        If you break it, I'll charge you for it!
82        The flimsier the product, the higher the price.        
85        Never let the competition know what you're thinking.        
87        Learn the customer's weaknesses, so that you can better take advantage of him
88        It ain't over 'til its over'
88        Vengeance will cost you everything.
89        Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.        
89        [It is] better to lose some profit and live than lose all profit and die.        
92        There are many paths to profit.        
94        Females and finances don't mix.
95        Expand or die.        
97        Enough... is never enough.
98        Every man has his price
98        If you can't take it with you, don't go.        
99        Trust is the biggest liability of all.        
100        When it's good for business, tell the truth.
101        Profit trumps emotion.        The Long Mirage
102        Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
103        Sleep can interfere with opportunity
104        Faith moves mountains... of inventory.        
106        There is no honor in peverts
108        Hope doesn't keep the lights on.        
108        A woman wearing clothes is like a man without any profits.        
109        Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
110        Exploitation begins at home.        
111        Treat people in your debt like family... exploit them.        
112        Never have sex with the wife's sister.        
113        Always have sex with the boss.        
117        You can't free a fish from water
121        Everything is for sale, even friendship.        
123        Even a blind man can recognize the glow of gold
125        You can't make a deal if you're dead.        
135        Listen to secrets, but never repeat them.
139        Wives serve, brothers inherit.        
141        Only fools pay retail.        
144        There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket.        
147        People love the bartender.
151        Even when you're a customer, sell yourself.        
153        Sell the sizzle, not the steak
162        Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit
168        Whisper your way to success.        
177        Know your enemies... but do business with them always.        
181        Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.        
183        When life hands you grease, make detergent
184        A Trump waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.        
188        Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
189        Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.        
190        Hear all, trust nothing.        
192        Never cheat an Arab unless you're sure you can get away with it.        The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition
193        Trouble comes in threes.        
193        It's never too late to fire the staff.        
194        It's always good business to know about new customers
199        Location, location, location.
200        A Trump chooses no side but his own        
202        Suckers are succulent, but sometimes they bite back
208        Sometimes, the only thing more dangerous than a ? is an answer.        
211        Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.        
212        A good lie is easier to believe than the truth.        
214        Never begin a (business) negotiation on an empty stomach.        
216        Never gamble with a telepath.        
217        Always know what you're buying.
218        Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much.        
219        Possession is eleven-tenths of the law!        
223        Beware the man who doesn't take time for blackmail
227        If that's what's written, then that's what's written.        Star Trek Online
229        Gold lasts longer than lust.        
235        Duck; death is tall
236        You can't buy fate
239        Never be afraid to mislabel a product.        
240        Time, like latinum, is a highly limited commodity.        
242        More is good... all is better
243        Always leave yourself an out.        
248        The definition of insanity is trying the same failed scheme & expecting different results
255        A wife is luxury... a smart accountant a neccessity.        
257        When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits, kill the messenger
261        A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience
263        Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for gold
266        When in doubt, lie.        
267        If you believe it, they believe it.        
272        Always inspect the merchandise before making a deal.
280        If it ain't broke, don't fix it.        
284        Deep down, everyone's bought.
285        No good deed ever goes unpunished
287        Always get somebody else to do the lifting
288        Never get into anything that you can't get out of
289        A man is only worth the sum of his possessions.        
290        An angry man is an enemy, and a satisfied man is an ally.        
291        The less employees know about the cash flow, the smaller the share they can demand.
292        Betrayal can be fired
293        The more time they take deciding, the more money they will spend.        
294        A bargain usually isn't
431        When the shooting starts, let the mercenaries handle it!