The Art of the Deal (ammended by Michael Cohen

1       Once you have their money... you never give it back.
2       The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.      
2       Money is everything.      
3       Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.      
5       Always exaggerate your estimates.      
6       Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.      
7       Keep your ears open.      
8       Small print leads to large risk.
9       Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
10       Greed is eternal.      
14       The quickest way to find profits is to let them find you.      
15       Dead men close no deals
16       A deal is a deal... until a better one comes along.
17       A contract is a contract is a contract.
18       A Deal without profit is no deal at all.      
19       Satisfaction is not guaranteed.      
20       He who dives under the table today lives to profit tomorrow.      
21       Never place friendship above profit.      
22       A wise man can hear profit in the wind.      
23       Nothing is more important than your health.
27       There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.      
29       What's in it for me?      
31       Never make fun of a loser's mother. Insult something he cares about instead.
33       It never hurts to suck up to the boss.      
34       War is good for business..
35       Peace is good for business.      
37       The early investor reaps the most interest.
39       Don't tell customers more than they need to know.      
40       She can touch your dick but never your $.      
41       Profit is its own reward.      
43       Feed your greed, but not enough to choke it.      
44       Never confuse wisdom with luck.      
45       Expand or die
47       Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.      
48       The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.      
52       Never ask when you can take
53       Never trust anybody taller than you.      
54       Rate divided by time equals profit.
55       Take joy from profit, and profit from joy.      
57       Good customers are as rare as bearer bond—treasure
58       There is no substitute for success.      
59       Free advice is seldom cheap.      
60       Keep your lies consistent or for 2 weeks or not..      
62       The riskier the road, the greater the profit.      
63       Work is the best therapy-at least for your employees.      
65       Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.      
66       Someone's always got bigger debts.
68       Risk doesn't always equal reward.      
69       Trumps are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.      
74       Knowledge equals profit.
75       Home is where the resort is.      
76       Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.      
77       If you break it, I'll charge you for it!
82       The flimsier the product, the higher the price.      
85       Never let the competition know what you're thinking.      
87       Learn the customer's weaknesses, so that you can better take advantage of him
88       It ain't over 'til its over'
88       Vengeance will cost you everything.
89       Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.      
89       [It is] better to lose some profit and live than lose all profit and die.      
92       There are many paths to profit.      
94       Females and finances don't mix.
95       Expand or die.      
97       Enough... is never enough.
98       Every man has his price
98       If you can't take it with you, don't go.      
99       Trust is the biggest liability of all.      
100       When it's good for business, tell the truth.
101       Profit trumps emotion.       The Long Mirage
102       Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
103       Sleep can interfere with opportunity
104       Faith moves mountains... of inventory.      
106       There is no honor in peverts
108       Hope doesn't keep the lights on.      
108       A woman wearing clothes is like a man without any profits.      
109       Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
110       Exploitation begins at home.      
111       Treat people in your debt like family... exploit them.      
112       Never have sex with the wife's sister.      
113       Always have sex with the boss.      
117       You can't free a fish from water
121       Everything is for sale, even friendship.      
123       Even a blind man can recognize the glow of gold
125       You can't make a deal if you're dead.      
135       Listen to secrets, but never repeat them.
139       Wives serve, brothers inherit.      
141       Only fools pay retail.      
144       There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket.      
147       People love the bartender.
151       Even when you're a customer, sell yourself.      
153       Sell the sizzle, not the steak
162       Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit
168       Whisper your way to success.      
177       Know your enemies... but do business with them always.      
181       Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.      
182       When life hands you grease, make detergent
184       A Trump waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.      
188       Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
189       Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.      
190       Hear all, trust nothing.      
192       Never cheat an Arab unless you're sure you can get away with it.      
193       Trouble comes in threes.      
193       It's never too late to fire the staff.      
194       It's always good business to know about new customers
199       Location, location, location.
200       A Trump chooses no side but his own      
202       Suckers are succulent, but sometimes they bite back
208       Sometimes, the only thing more dangerous than a ? is an answer.      
211       Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.      
212       A good lie is easier to believe than the truth.      
214       Never begin a (business) negotiation on an empty stomach.      
216       Never gamble with a telepath.      
217       Always know what you're buying.
218       Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much.      
219       Possession is eleven-tenths of the law!      
223       Beware the man who doesn't take time for blackmail
227       If that's what's written, then that's what's written.      
229       Gold lasts longer than lust.      
235       Duck; death is head high
236       You can buy fate with enough hate
239       Never be afraid to label a product Trump.      
240       Time, like platinum, is a highly limited commodity.      
242       More is good... all is better
243       Always leave yourself an out.      
248       The definition of insanity is trying the same failed scheme & expecting different results
255       A wife is luxury... a smart accountant a neccessity.      
257       When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits, kill the messenger
261       A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience
263       Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for gold
266       When in doubt, lie.      
267       If you believe it, they believe it.      
272       Always inspect the merchandise before making a deal.
280       If it ain't broke, don't fix it.      
284       Deep down, everyone's bought.
285       No good deed ever goes unpunished
287       Always get somebody else to do the lifting
288       Never get into anything that you can't get out of
289       A man is only worth the sum of his possessions.      
290       An angry man is an enemy, and a satisfied man is an ally.      
291       The less employees know about the cash flow, the smaller the share they can demand.
292       Betrayal can be fired - the same as loyalty
293       The more time they take deciding, the more money they will spend.      
294       A bargain usually isn't
431       When the shooting starts, let the mercenaries handle it!
432       To retalliate and defeat - humilliate by a tweet


ALWAYS SUE THE BASTARDS