Peter Kay is very rude but funny. Some of his misheard lyrics:

I can't believe you kiss your cock at night.
(I can't believe you kiss your car goodnight)

Every time I think of it I piss myself.
(Every time I think of it I pinch myself)

Near, far, wherever you are, I believe that the hot dogs go on.
(I believe that the heart does go on)

Just let me staple the vicar.
(Just let me state for the record)

I'm begging you for birdseed, birdseed.
(Mercy mercy)