And before any nitpickers are tempted to wade in, I know it’s not a ‘real’ news site, but it makes a valid point, in a humorous way, that a big, fat, blustering, clueless buffoon in a glasshouse shouldn’t throw stones. It’s called ‘satire’.

No, it's not satire. It's bollocks.
So called 'satirical' sites can say what they want, and claim it's 'satire'. It doesn't need to contain a shred of truth. I selected a small part of the Johnson 'quote': Well, except when you're using it to put the frighteners on a journalist who is investigating things you don't want them to and put it into Google. Surprise surprise, the only 'hit' I got was the Newsthump article itself. If they are going to back up any comments they make by using invented quotes then they are not worth linking to or quoting. Unless by someone who is easily fooled.