Many years ago I went up the Orkney islands, could can imagine my surprise when driving down a road I was confronted with a sign that told me I was in Twatt.

My fevered imagination thought up this. Just imagine being stopped by the constabulary in a far away part of the country.

"Evening sir, it this your car"

"Er yes, yes it is"

"Can I ask you where your going sir"

"Twatt"

"No need for that sir, where are you from"

"Twatt"

"No need at all for that sir, it was a polite question, now just where are you going"

"Twatt!!"

"Got a right one 'ere Charlie, get the cuffs"