The Dandy Man
From the singing of Walter Pardon.

When I was twenty years of age a-courting I did go,
All with a dandy barber’s clerk, he filled my heart with woe,
I never ceased to rue the day when I became his wife,
He can’t do right by day nor night, ‘tis true upon my life.

Young women all, take my advice and mark what I do say,
If ever you wed with a dandy man you’ll ever rue the day.

And when he goes to bed at night like an elephant he lays,
He never takes his britches off, he sleeps in women’s stays,
His mouth is like a turnpike gate, his nose a yard and a half,
And if you saw his dandy legs I’m sure they’d make you laugh.

Young women all……………….            

It was upon last Christmas day, as true as I’m a sinner,
And as he stayed at home that day he swore he’d cook the dinner,
He took out all the plums and flour and mixed them in his hat,
And in the pot upon the lot, the rogue he boiled some fat.

Young women all………………..         

It was last Sunday morning, all by his own desire,
My leghorn bonnet and my cap he took to light the fire,
He took the tea things off the shelf to clean off all the dirt,
He washed them in the chamber pot and wiped them on his shirt.

Young women all…………………         

One day, when I was very ill he went to buy a fowl,
He bought a pair, I don’t know where, a magpie and an owl,
He put them in the pot to boil tied in a dirty cloth,
He boiled the lot, all feathers and guts and called it famous broth.

Young women all………………………            

As we were walking up the street, ‘twas arm in arm together,
It very first began to snow, he said, what rainy weather,
And if he saw a hackney coach he’d swear it was a gig,
He cannot tell, I do declare, a donkey from a pig.

Young women all……………………..

Now you may talk of dandy wives, but tell me if you can,
Where there’s a dandy woman who can match a dandy man,
He’s a dirty rogue and a lazy fool, and how I bless the day,
If they would send my dandy man straight off to Botany Bay.

Young women all take my advice and mark what I do say,
If ever you wed with a dandy man you’ll ever rue the day.