Mom! I need some political advice!

I want to put up a "Biden for President" lawn sign. But since I live in a VERY red area, it would probably be stolen almost immediately. What I need to know is the best non-lethal way to booby trap the sign. Ideally, I'd sit in a tree with a loaded shotgun, wait for someone to try to steal the sign, and blast off four quick "warning shots". But I don't have enough patience to spend that much time waiting to shoot something I can't even eat. Maybe I could just surround the sign with a six-foot wide six-inch deep perimeter of really gooey cow shit.