Watson has always been a shoulder-sitter; it's a habit he developed as a teeny kitten. I have a lovely photo of Himself making coffee in the kitchen with Watson perched like a parrot on his shoulder -- but Watson was then about six months old and very, very cute up there. Now he's nearly seven (and 7 kilos), and that kittenish behaviour is less cute than domineering. The message I get is unmistakable: "Enough about you; let's talk about ME!"

Neither of us is a fullback, we do not own hockey pads, and Himself turned in his body armour when he redeployed from Afghanistan. If somebody would invent a Kevlar dressing-gown (bathrobe), however, I would be first in line to buy one.