I won't wrongly accuse anyone of having way too much time on their hands, especially not since I feel compelled to add to this nonsense. I have never tipped a cow, (except maybe that heifer that works down at the diner), but I have been known to 'tail ski' one or two of them. This is accomplished by planting both feet (preferably with heavy rubber boots on) in a fairly fresh cow patty, grabbing Bosies tail with one hand and with the other swatting the old gal across the rump. The resulting distance is then recorded and the next competitor takes a try. I know this sounds like udder nonsense, but folks without any breeding and culture are not expected to know of these things!

BTW...what are the alternatives to toilet paper, other than the obvious of course? Enquiring minds want to know.....