Hard Times

As sung by Oscar Brand on Laughing America

Chorus: And it’s hard, hard times

Cho
Come listen a while and I’ll sing you a song
About modern times and it won’t take too long
How every body is striving to buy
And cheating each other and no one knows why
Cho
Father and mother and sister and brother
Cousin and uncle is cheating each other
The way that the cheating is going on here
If a fellow is honest they think that he’s queer
Cho
Just notice your butcher who sells you the meat
If he ain’t your friend then my friend, you don’t eat
He charges you double for what’s on his list
And he weighs in his elbow, his thumb and his fist
Cho
Now then there’s the merchant, so honest we’re told
Whatever he sells you, my friend, you’ve been sold
You’d better watch out so he don’t do you dirt
Or you’ll leave his establishment minus your shirt
Cho
Then there’s the doctor- I like to’ve forgot
With all of his smiles he’s the worst of the lot
He’ll pill you he’ll purge you for half you possess
Then keep you half dead so he gets all the rest
Cho
Now consider the lover who murmurs and sighs
And swears that he worships your nose and your eyes
He speaks in such wonderful colors and shades
For he’s practiced so often on other young maids
Cho
Why there isn’t a fellow who hasn’t some plan
For cheating the pants off of some honest man
With everyone turning to evil or worse
Perhaps we had better start cheating back first
Cho
Cho