One of my favourite Mike Harding songs, I don't think was recorded. I'm not even sure what its title is.

A little lad whose name was Bob
Minded a horse outside a pub
The horse he widdled, the man came out
The little lad he gave a shout.

Your horse wont go now mister (x3)
’Cos the petrol’s all run away.

Me and the wife and the mother-in-law
Went for a walk on Blackpool shore
The mother-in-law feel off the pier
The wife she shouted in me ear.

Don’t stand and watch her drowning (x3)
I said, ‘Right I’ll shut me eyes.’

I had a girl, her name was May
I gave her a watch for her birthday
She opened it up and gave a stare
There was nowt inside, there were no doin’s there.

I said, ‘You needn’t worry’ (x3)
I’m giving you the works tonight.

You know last night and the night before
Three big pusses came kicking at the door
One had a fiddle, one had a drum
The other had a pancake stuck to his bum.

Early in the morning (x3)
Before the break of day.

Hey diddle diddle our pussy did a widdle
All over the kitchen floor
The little dog laughed to see such fun
So the cat did a little bit more.

Early in the morning (x3)
Before the break of day.

Old mother Hubbard she went to the cupboard
To get the postman a letter
When she got there the cupboard was bare
So they had it without it was better.

Early in the morning (x3)
Before the break of day.

My brother Henry had a ten foot willy
And he showed it to the girl next door
She thought it was a snake so she hit it with a rake
And now it’s only five feet four.

Early in the morning (x3)
Before the break of day.