Anything that happens in life
Can happen in DC
You can make 'em mad
You can make 'em cry
Anything and everything goes

(Chorus)
[SCHUMER]
The clown
With his tweets falling down
Or the case
Right before arraignment
Or the man
That the country can't stand
That's entertainment!

[PELOSI]
The lights
On first ladies in tights

[BIDEN]
Or the bride
With a guy on the side

[SCHUMER]
Or the ball
Where she, infects them all

[BIDEN, SCHUMER, AND PELOSI]
That's entertainment!

[PELOSI]
The plot
Could be hot
Simply teeming with porn

[SCHUMER]
A gay
Senator
Who is after his ex

[BIDEN]
It could be Oedipus Rex

[SCHUMER]
Where a teen kills off the Congress
And gun nuts have wronged us.

[NANCY]
The jerk
Who is thrown out of work

[JOE]
By the boss
Who is thrown for a loss

[CHUCK]
By the flirt
Who is doing him dirt

[ALL]
The world is a stage
The stage is DC
Its entertainment!

(instrumental break)

[ALL]
The doubt
While the jury is out
Or the drill
When the judge has his fill
Or the case
For the man in disgrace
That's entertainment!

[NANCY]
The dame
Who is known as the flame

[CHUCK]
Of the king
Of an underworld ring

[CHUCK AND JOE]
He's an ape
Who won't let her escape

[ALL]
That's entertainment!
It might
Be a fight
Like you see on the screen
A gang
Getting banged
For the love of some cash
For some huge party bash
At a spot that really is sweet
And everyone ends in mincemeat.
The gag
Where he's waving the flag
That began
With a crooked con man
Hip hip hooray
The American way!
The world is a stage
The stage in DC
Is entertainment!