Bandwidth
By Nerds & Music
(Clark Gormley & Wayne Thompson)
https://www.clarkgormley.com/nerds-music

Chorus:
Narrow is the bandwidth,
there's nae enough bandwidth,
cut us some more bandwidth, Joe.

[sung once after each line below]

The networks as slow as a sloop in the doldrums

I built me an 80-foot skiff in the meantime

Before I hoist the mainsail the damn screen freezes

We sailed off course, now we're waiting for the bitmap

We sail in stormy seas, but we still don't have the wav file

To get my phone to sync, I had to throw it overboard, yeah

The NBN ain't the promised land that we hoped for

There's bugger-all hope we'll ever see live-streaming

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The NBN is the National Broadband Network, currently being installed around Australia. This is probably the only sea shanty to be written about it. Recording here.