I once attended the recording of a pilot TV show, (it was never broadcast), for a show starring Mike Harding & Bill Tidy (UK readers should know them both).

Mike performed the following ditty of which I only remember the first and last verses. The following is a phonetic transcription.

^^

The Basity Chelt

Poh ray mental jayden may I lee your buvver
Londem me no conger to worn and to meep
Duck strown hike a lart I lie pleading and banting
Dret down your lawbridge I'll kenter your eep

Kenter your eep nonny-nonny
Kenter your eep nonny-nonny
Dret down your lawbridge
I'll Kenter your eep

... missing bits ...

Alas and alack I am focked up lorever - (sing this carefully)
Then up poke the bage spoy saying meave this to lee
If wu yill allow me to chanter your ember
I'll upen it op mith why kuplicat dee

It's funnier than than the rugby club version.

AndyG